A floating feeling
by takemetoaplacefarfaraway
Summary: Basically just an idea I had of what happened after the Host ended. Not everything is rosy and happy ever afters, but don't worry I plan to resolve most things eventually! O'wanda fluff!
1. Chapter 1

I woke up slowly, eyelids fluttering. _Where am I?_ It was dark and I was disorientated. I couldn't hear the steady breathing of the other 36 people asleep in the games room, and I started to panic, worried that my deepest fear had come true and the seekers had come for my human family. My breathing hitched and stuttered as my weak and inexperienced body struggled to cope with the rolling maelstrom of emotions washing over me. Slowly the fear cleared the fog around my mind, I could feel Ian's arm draped over my waist. He would never let the seekers get him. He'd promised we'd never be apart again.

His hand on my hip was burning through the material of my shirt. Heat spread over my face. I gingerly eased myself to sitting and gazed up, and as I saw the distant shine of two stars through a gap in the ceiling, I realised I was in the room Ian had shared with his brother Kyle. _Our room now._ The heat in my face was now a wild fire. I had forgotten that yesterday Jeb, Ian, Kyle and Jared had gone around the caves to check the sleeping areas were safe to move back into. I must have fallen asleep last night and Ian had carried me here.

I was glad Ian wasn't awake to see my blush, he would laugh in the adorable way he did whenever he found something I did amusing.

"Wanda?" mumbled a voice.

_I had spoken too soon._

"Oh Ian, did I wake you? I'm so sorry, go back to sleep."

"It's fine I need to get up soon anyway, Jeb wants us to harvest the carrots in the main field today and prepare the soil so we can replant tomorrow."

"Can I-"

"Shhh…" He silenced me with a kiss… "We already decided you, Lily and Trudy are washing clothes today- I don't want you getting hurt."

I grumbled under my breath, but my heart wasn't in it, I couldn't be mad at him when he was just trying to protect me out of love. Suddenly Ian grabbed me and pulled me onto his chest and a quiet gasp slid out of my lips. He was so sweet when he was like this in the morning. His lips reached up and touched mine gently, sweetly at first, but quickly deepened into a passionate, slow burning kiss. I grabbed his hair in my fists and tried to melt my body into his. A soft moan escaped my mouth, which was greeted by a groan from Ian's mouth as he pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. This is what had happened every time things started to heat up. I tried not to take it personally, I knew he thought I wasn't ready to take things to the next level, but I wanted to be his, and him mine: mind, soul AND body.

As if he was reading my mind, and sometimes I thought he actually could, he sighed and kissed me tentatively on the lips.

"Wanda… You KNOW I want you…"

_Did I? _Whispered the small insecure part of my mind I tried to ignore.

"There's no rush." _Except my out of control teenage hormones…_ "You're not even 18 for weeks."

A blush started creeping up my cheeks, threatening to give away my lie. I struggled to keep my face blank. Ian looked at me knowingly with his deep sapphire blue eyes, but he didn't say anything more. _Did he know I had lied about my age? Why didn't he say so if he did? Did it matter? I would have to ask Mel later, she had already confronted me about my age…_

I shook my head in an attempt to clear my thoughts. The pale pink light of dawn had started to creep into the cave through the crevices in the ceiling and I could no longer see the stars. Ian chuckled as he saw the torn look on my face. It was time to get up and start chores, but I couldn't bring myself to leave the warmth and comfort of his arms. _You're being selfish, _I told myself, but as I tried to peel myself off of Ian, his arms tensed around me like a vice, trapping me where I was.

"Iaaan…" I said exasperatedly. The mischievous gleam in his eyes pushed at my will power, trying to get me to stay where I was. I gave him a Mel look, one eyebrow arched sardonically. Chuckling to himself again he let me go and stood quickly, pulling me up with him. I broke away and started rummaging through the clothes sprawled haphazardly around the room, looking for something relatively clean to wear. It was just as well we were doing laundry today… As I picked up a shirt and jeans, I turned to see Ian looking at me, with a look on his face that could only be described as pure unadulterated love. Noticing I'd caught him looking at me, a slight pink tinged the edge of his cheeks. It was my turn to laugh for making him blush for once. Smiling slightly, he grabbed his own clothes and started to strip off the dirty ones he was wearing.

I started to look away, embarrassed, but then paused as he pulled his shirt over his head and I saw his lean midriff and the taught muscles of his bare chest. I knew I should look away, but I was spellbound. As he started unbuckling his belt I flushed and forced myself to turn away, berating myself for being so selfish and watching him without him knowing. I looked down at the clothes in my hands and a shudder of shyness went down my spine. I couldn't get changed with him looking at me, he'd never seen me undressed, or even partially undressed, as I always slept in pyjama shorts and a baggy top. But if I wanted to take our relationship to the next level, I had to prove to him I was ready…

Noticing my dithering, Ian spoke up:

"I'll umm, go… grab us a spot… for breakfast..." He stuttered out, saving me from having to make a decision.

As I heard him move the red door out the way and rest it back gently, I sighed quietly. This host was not used to these strong emotions, the most burning desire and the most crippling shyness. I quickly got dressed and ran up the tunnels towards the sounds and smells of everyone congregating for breakfast.

I got there just in time to see Ian grab his brother in a headlock and I must have made some kind of sound because they both looked up, took one look at my face and Kyle burst out laughing, whilst Ian was obviously trying to restrain himself, but his chest was shaking from suppressed laughter. Befuddled I ignored them, and seeing Jamie waving at me frantically, I headed over to where he was sat saving seats for me, Ian, Mel and Jared.

I slid into the seat next to Jamie and embraced him quickly.

"Good morning Jamie, how did you sleep?"

"Not bad, Aaron and Brandt are better roommates than sharing with Jeb and his snores, or sleeping in the game room with everyone's snoring!" He exclaimed.

I smiled fondly at him, just as Ian sat in the seat on my other side and pushed a plate with a Kyle sized portion of eggs and bread in front of me.

"Are you trying to fatten me up?" I asked him jokingly, but he looked at me seriously and simply stated:

"There is nothing anyone could want to change about you, you are absolutely perfect the way you are. Both your host and you are the most beautiful beings I've ever had the fortune to lay my eyes on."

I gaped awestruck at him, astonished even now that he could see me that way, that a human could love one of the _parasites_ that stole their planet and their loved ones. All I managed to stutter out was "I love you Ian, heart, body and soul…"

He smiled at the pun. "I love you my Wanderer, more than anything, more than my own life".

I started to protest, to tell him that his life was much more important than mine, that having had 9 full lives, I'd had more than my fair share, but he stopped me with a kiss, another thing that had become a regular occurrence. The kiss went on longer than was really acceptable considering we were surrounded by people, and I was sat next to Jamie. _Jamie!_

Blushing, I apologised to Jamie "I'm sorry, that was… Sorry" I finished lamely.

Jamie was blushing too, and staring down at his empty plate. It was just as well we had a distraction at that moment. Mel came bursting down the tunnel into the room, teasing Jared in a sing song voice "I told you I'd beat you, I'm way faster than you!"

Seconds behind her, Jared's pounding footsteps became louder as he too came barrelling into the room laughing, and then grabbing her up into his arms when he reached her. The sound of their laughter bounced around the room like music.

"Why are you two so late?" Kyle leered from the corner of the room where he sat with one arm wrapped around Sunny's shoulders.

"SHUT UP KYLE!" yelled Melanie, as she twisted out of Jared's arms to glare at him. Jared just smirked, causing most of the men in the room to laugh, including Ian. I sat there confused, until I noticed their ruffled hair and haphazardly thrown on clothes, then I blushed on Mel's behalf. As Mel tried to storm away, Jared grabbed her hand and pulled her close, stroking up and down her arms until she calmed down. She could never stay mad at Jared for long. Beaming at each other they came up and sat on the other side of the table to us.

We sat eating our breakfasts listening to Jamie chatter about school, and how it was so unfair that Sharon had given him detention again. As if summoned by Jamie talking about her, Sharon appeared near the table, telling Jamie he had to leave to go to lessons straight away. Jamie got up grumbling and left, waving over his shoulder to our group. As if some silent trigger had occurred, everyone started to get up to go about their chores. Standing, I went to grab the plates from our table, only to have them snatched away by Ian.

"I'll take these", he said. I rolled my eyes, a very uncharacteristic action for me, which made Mel snigger. When Ian got back from the kitchen where he'd left the plates for the people on washing up duty, he hugged me close to him, his big hands pressing me up against him and kissed me on the tip of the nose.

"I'll see you at lunch, don't let her do too much Mel" he asked.

I thought about making a snarky comment, but it just wasn't me. Instead I waved him goodbye and turned to Mel, waiting for her to finish saying goodbye to Jared. They were kissing deeply and passionately, as if they weren't surrounded by people. In the end, Jeb yelled down the tunnel: "Get a move on all of ye, there's work to be done!" Jared and Melanie finally broke apart, and Mel informed me she was on washing up duty so she'd walk with me to the bathing room where we washed the dishes and the clothes.

Lily and Trudy had already left, taking all the dirty washing with them. I volunteered to help Mel carry the dirty dishes but she just stared at me until I gave up.

As we were walking down the long tunnel, I worked up the courage to ask her about the strange moment with Ian this morning.

"Mel… Do you think I should tell Ian this body is 16 not 17?"

She paused for a second, considering her answer.

"I think… that if he found out too late, he'd feel incredibly guilty."

"What do you mean too late?" I replied, confused.

"Sometimes I forget you're practically a child in the time you've been on this planet. I mean, if you slept together and he only found out after that you're younger than you told him, he would feel like he'd taken advantage of you. I'm assuming you haven't already…?" She trailed off at the end, turning her statement into a question.

I blushed beetroot red. "No… no we haven't… But… He always… I mean… He has too much self-control!" I blurted out, "He always stops things from going further, but I don't want him to stop…"

She eyed me with interest … "Have you told him you don't want to wait?"

"I… No. I don't want to force him into doing something he doesn't want to do, just because I want to."

At this she burst out laughing.

"Oh Wanda," she choked out, "That's probably the most naïve thing I've ever heard you say! Trust me he wants it too, badly. Have you not noticed the way he looks at you? He was making the eyes at you all morning!"

I scrunched up my nose, _was it really obvious? I'd never noticed. Maybe she was just saying it to make me feel better. No, we were sisters, she wouldn't lie to me._

"Wanda, I think you should tell him tonight. Tell him how old your host really is, and tell him you're ready; anyway you never know he might decide he doesn't want to wait any more." She winked at me and somehow I managed to blush an even brighter red.

As we rounded one final corner, we reached the cave where Lily and Trudy were already scrubbing clothes in one of the streams in the corner of the room.

"Oh I'm so sorry! You've already started!" I apologised.

"It's okay", "You work too much anyway" they replied.

We past the hours to lunch doing our chores and making small talk about the other groups of humans we'd been in contact with.

"Jeb's arranged a visit for some of Nate's group to come here", Trudy informed us. That was news to me, and by the look on Mel's face it was to her as well.

"Why didn't Jared tell me!" she demanded.

Lily and Trudy exchanged a quick glance then Trudy laughed and said "Well it was only arranged late last night, and I think the two of you were probably occupied with other things than talking!"

"Still…" she grumbled, "He could have mentioned it…"

I smiled at her, trying to cheer her up.

"We should go see if we need to help with lunch now", I suggested.

"Great… More chores." Was Melanie's unhappy response, only partially joking.

As we walked back, I let Lily and Trudy go ahead, wanting to talk to Mel in private again.

"Are you okay Mel? You haven't seemed quite yourself lately."

"I'm okay Wanda, I think I'm just a little under the weather, I'll be fine, ignore my grumping."

We arrived at the kitchen just as the group from the fields arrived, covered in dirt and sweat, but still laughing and joking with one another.

"Why are you all in such a good mood?" Mel joked.

"Jeb's given everyone the afternoon off for working so hard this morning!" someone called from the back of the group.

I tried to protest that I really didn't deserve an afternoon off after having arrived late to do the washing, but my protests were quickly shot down.

"Meet in the games room in an hour!" Yelled Jeb.

Our usual group all sat together eating lunch, but this time Kyle and Sunny joined us, instead of sitting alone like they had this morning. I felt strong arms wrap around my waist, and I twisted round to face Ian, throwing my arms around his neck.

"I missed you!"

He smiled, "I missed you too Wanda."

Later that afternoon after several games of football, in which I'd managed to score a goal, people started drifting off in small groups and pairs to go wash. Soon it was just me and Ian. All of a sudden his arm reached down, scooping my legs up, and catching me around the shoulders with his other arm just before I hit the ground. A girly giggle sneaked out my lips, something my host had an annoying tendency to do a lot. He started off down the dark corridor towards the bright main field.

"I can walk Ian, I'm not that tired" I said whilst trying to stifle a yawn.

"Sure you're not," he chuckled, "that's why you're trying to hide the fact you're yawning right now."

I decided to let it go and snuggled my head against his firm chest.

Sooner than I would have liked we reached the bathing rooms, where we passed Aaron just leaving the pool room.

"It's all yours", he said with a wink.

Ian put me down, and looked at me intensely for a minute.

"Do you mind coming in with me?"

I prayed that my body wouldn't betray me by making me blush.

"No, I want to."

We walked nervously into the pitch black room, and I stepped straight into the water, so that I could wash my clothes too. I heard a splash as Ian entered too. I lathered up with soap quickly, and after a quick look around, even though it was impossible to see in the darkness, I stripped off my clothes to wash them as well. All of a sudden a thought occurred to me, we didn't have any clean clothes.

"Ian…?" I asked tentatively, "we don't have any dry clothes to put on."

"Well then we'll just have to run back really quickly" he replied.

Suddenly his arm reached around me as if to lift me out the water, but it quickly dropped away when he realised he was touching the bare skin of my back.

"Sorry" he mumbled.

I heaved myself out the water and put my wet clothes back on, shivering slightly despite the warm air. I heard him get out as well. Blindly I reached out to find his warm hand, and we walked back into the better lit cavern, where he immediately proceeded to lift me up into his arms again and started jogging towards our living quarters.

I must have fallen asleep in his arms because when I awoke I was lying on our mattress wrapped up in blankets. Noticing my stirring Ian said: "Sorry if I woke you, I just went to get us some food before it ran out for when you woke up". Belatedly I realised it was the sound of the red door being pushed open that had woken me.

"I never mind being woken up when I get to see you" I blushed.

My face was warm, but the rest of my body still had a chill to it. I shivered involuntarily. He moved towards me, opening his arms to pull me into a warm embrace.

"Oh god, sorry you must be freezing. I didn't want to wake you so you could get changed into dry clothes, and… I didn't trust myself to do it for you."

I gave a nervous giggle, this was the perfect time to talk about what Mel had told me to tell him.

"Ian… I have something to tell you," I started, "I lied about my age. I'm 16, not 17, but my birthday really is in a few weeks! I'm so sorry, it's just…" I trailed off, embarrassed.

"Just what?" He asked, he didn't sound angry, just curious.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter…"

"My Wanderer, if it's bothering you, it does matter, you can tell me anything."

"Okay, well I just I remember from Mel's memories that when she first met Jared he thought she was too young for them to be together physically, he thought he'd be taking advantage of her, and she was so frustrated and I didn't want that so I lied and I'm so sorry!" I blurted out, nearing tears by the end, sure that he would be mad at me for lying.

His response startled me.

He laughed.

"Oh Wanda, I'm flattered that you would lie just to be with me, and I'm surprised and kind of proud that you thought of yourself for once, and you managed to lie quite convincingly! I had my doubts, but I didn't know for sure that you had lied. Come here, I love you so much."

He pulled me up against him and lowered us both down until we were laid facing each other on our sides on the bed. I still couldn't look him in the eyes.

"My dear sweet Wanderer, what's wrong? Is there something else?"

I tried to lie convincingly… "No?" But he knew me too well.

"Wanderer?"

I sighed and the rest of it rushed out.

"Every time we kiss, you stop before it goes any further, but I don't want to stop, I want to be with you in every possible way, and this is only one you deny me. When I'm near you, when you touch me" I blushed, "I feel a burning inside me, melting me, and I just want everything with you."

_I'm too embarrassed to go on. Please Ian, say something. _

I looked up and he was staring at me, an obvious battle with his emotions swirling in his eyes. He was torn between wanting me, and wanting to protect me. In the end he sighed and closed his eyes.

"Wanda, I know you think you're ready to have sex, but it's a big deal for humans. I want it to be special for you. I want you to be old enough that your body is ready for it too. I don't want to hurt you."

My face must have fallen because guilt instantly swept over his face. He hastened to make up for hurting my feelings,

"We don't have to go all the way, we can take it slow and build up to it over time."

My ears perked up. _That sounded better than not moving further at all._

"Okay." I smiled, "could we start now?"

Ian's eyes burnt into me, as if he was looking for the true me, the silver soul, and he'd found it and liked what he'd seen.

He thrust his lips against mine, and I started kissing him back equally passionately. His tongue swept into my mouth, making me gasp. I could feel him smiling against my mouth. In return I sucked on his lower lip, and bit gently. This was about when he would always pull away and smile ruefully. But he didn't. He rolled me over so that he was on top of me, but ever so carefully so he didn't crush me. My hands found the hem of his shirt and tugged gently. Our lips broke apart so I could pull his shirt over his head. Instead of returning his mouth to mine, his lips trailed down my jaw, down my neck and over my collarbones. My back arched, pushing me closer against him, and a groan crept out of his mouth. His hands were running up and down my spine over my shirt. I was getting impatient with the fabric between us, so I yanked my shirt over my head. He stopped. _Oh god was he going to stop now?_

He stared down at me with awe.

"This host was truly meant to be yours, as beautiful on the outside as you, the soul are."

He rolled me over again so that I was pressed on top of him, our bodies touching in all the right places, my softness against his hardness. His hand traced circles across my collarbones, spiralling downwards over my breasts. I moved to unhook my bra, and finally, he pulled away.

"Enough," he panted, "Or I won't be able to stop."

The more selfish part of me wanted to keep going, knowing he wouldn't stop me again, but in the end I couldn't do that to him. He wanted, no, needed to stay in control of himself and I wanted him to be happy.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day at breakfast I could barely look at Ian without blushing deeply at the memory of what we'd discussed the night before, and the events that followed. I sat picking at a bread roll, too self-conscious to really eat. Others had noticed my preoccupation and I tried not to be rude, but I didn't really feel like talking to anyone at the moment. Ian kept glancing over at me, concerned; when he thought I wasn't looking.

Eventually, surprisingly, it was quiet Sunny that snapped me out of my mood.

"Wanda… I was wondering, if you don't mind, could we maybe talk in private if you're finished eating?"

I looked up at her, replying quickly, "Of course Sunny!" Both Ian and Kyle stared at us in surprise. Sunny rarely left Kyle's side.

I gave Ian a quick kiss on the cheek, and he whispered in my ear quietly, his breath tickling the side of my face, causing me to giggle childishly.

"I love you my Wanderer."

"I love you my Ian" I breathed back.

As Sunny and I wandered towards the main field, I couldn't help but worry about what Sunny wanted to talk about.

"Thank you for coming with me, I, I was just hoping, that maybe you could help me with something." She asked. "But only if you want to!" She hastened to add.

"I'll certainly try to help."

"Well it's just that I promised Kyle when I was put back into this body that I would carry on searching for Jodi, but so far I can't find any trace that she's still here. And you shared your body, Mel's body, with her, and I was wondering if you could help me to look for her in my head." Sunny looked so sad as she said this that I slipped my small arm around her shoulders to comfort her. I could imagine what was running through her mind.

"Oh Sunny don't be sad, even if you do find her Kyle won't let anyone get rid of you, he loves you too you know. Anyone could see it from the way he looks at you."

These were almost the same words that Mel had said to me about Ian yesterday, and I had never noticed how he looked at me. There was a word for this situation. Ironic. Pet's memories brought the word to the surface of my mind. I hadn't noticed how Ian looked at me, but everyone else did. Sunny didn't notice how Kyle looked at her, but even I had noticed how protective of her he was, like a fierce dog protecting a kitten. He was always casually touching her in some way or another, holding hands, an arm around her waist, a hand on her back guiding her as she walked.

The corners of her mouth turned up ever so slightly. "You really think so?"

"I do." I smiled to reassure her. "And as for Jodi, just keep looking in your memories you share, something might bring her back, even try calling her name a few times, but it's more than likely that she's just been wiped out of her body as most hosts are."

"Okay." Came her soft, yet determined reply.

I went to leave to shovels to work the soil of the fields, but Sunny stopped me with a light touch on my arm.

"I hope you don't mind me prying, but are things okay between you and Ian?"

My body froze in response.

"I'm sorry", Sunny apologised, blushing deeply, "That was rude of me to ask."

"No, no not at all. You can always ask me anything. We just… had a serious talk last night about our relationship. And…" I blushed again at the memory of his hands scalding my skin.

Sunny smiled a playful smile. "And the two of you had a nice night?" She asked innocently.

"It wasn't quite like that." I was embarrassed.

"I'm sorry." She apologised again. This time I didn't correct her.

The next few days in the caves blurred into one, nothing much happened. Sunny had had no hints that Jodi was still with her, Mel was still under the weather, and mine and Ian's nights in bed had progressed no further than that first time.

Finally something broke the routine.

One early morning whilst I dozed on and off in Ian's arms, my head nestled into his chest, I heard a soft knock on the doors to our room, not loud enough to wake me if I hadn't already been awake.

"Wanda?" whispered a voice I recognised better than my own.

"Mel?" I whispered back, "Come in, what's wrong?"

I heard a soft creak as Mel lifted one of the doors out of the way and slid into the room. She glanced down at where Ian and I lay, our limbs tangled together. Ian was still fast asleep. As I scanned her face for some clue as to what this early morning visit was about, I noticed tears glistening in her eyes. Putting a finger to my lips, I snuck out from Ian's grasp and pulling Mel with me left the room and walked to the end of the corridor where we'd have more privacy.

"What's wrong?" I asked, slightly high pitched from panic now that there was no risk of waking the people around us.

"Oh Wanda," she wept, "there's something really wrong with me. I've been exhausted for days, and I've been getting blinding headaches, and I've been sick every day this week. I went to see Doc this morning when I woke up and there were dark spots in front of my eyes. He thinks… he thinks I have"

She choked on a sob, unable to say anymore.

My mind went into overdrive as my arms instinctively went around her, her head rested on my shoulder, tears streaming down her face, and my own tears threatening to fall.

_What if we need special treatments that only the souls have? Will we be able to get what we need? What if it's something we can't treat?_

The tears now splashed down my own face, as I squeezed her tighter.

"Mel, Mel, Mel, Mel, Mel. It'll be okay, everything's going to be fine. We'll get you medicine." I stroked her hair, a gesture which would be funny considering our height difference, if the situation wasn't so serious. I hoped my words were true, I hoped it would be okay.

Finally Mel was able to choke out the words she'd been struggling with.

"He thinks I have a brain tumour."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: I realise the last chapter was quite a change from the first one, but I have plots planned for all the characters, and I wanted to share some of them early in case I gave up writing part way through. Also things wouldn't be perfect after the book left off, so something bad had to happen! I did think about making Melanie pregnant, but it just didn't seem right in my mind as her and Jared didn't want children in this world (not to say it might not happen in the future). Thank you to everyone who's read, especially those who left reviews, please keep them coming, they're very motivational! I'm also worried that I'm not keeping the personalities of the characters very well, so if you have any comments regarding that, please tell me so I can improve as I haven't written anything like this before. Thanks for continuing reading my story!**

After the shock of Melanie's tearful confession sunk in, I managed to persuade her to talk to Jared and tell him. I offered to come with her for support, but she had insisted she would be fine. _I didn't believe her_. But I let her go anyway, knowing this was what she wanted.

I walked back to mine and Ian's room on autopilot, feeling disconnected from this body, like I could float away at any time. So wrapped up in my thoughts, it took me a while to realise Ian wasn't sleeping peacefully like I'd left him. He was sat up, his body tensed, his face a mixture of anger and concern. As he took in the tear tracks on my face the anger melted out of his body, and he lurched forwards to grab me and pull me down onto the mattress beside him.

"Wanda what's wrong?"

I just shook my head, unable to form words.

"Please Wanderer; where were you? I can't bear for you to be upset and me not able to help you." He ran a hand through his hair, obviously frustrated.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you", I whispered. I couldn't bear seeing him hurt, knowing I'd caused it.

"It's okay. It's just, when I woke up and I was alone, I was worried. Last time that happened you had tried to leave me."

"I will NEVER leave you." I reassured him with quiet intensity.

"Now please, tell me what happened so I can comfort you my love."

Slowly, between sobs, I told him what Mel had told me. He flinched when I told him that Doc thought she had a brain tumour. His arms around me were strong, comforting, reassuring, anchoring me to him, to this world, stopping me from floating away.

Eventually once I'd quietened down he kissed away the few remaining tears on my face. Something in the pit of my stomach stirred. My lips reached up to press against his, yearning for his solidity to keep me steady when I was falling apart. I had to be strong for Mel by the time I left this room. He pulled away, unsure.

"Are you sure we should do this right now?"

I answered by pushing my mouth against his again, nibbling on his lower lip. His hands grasped the back of my head, pressing me closer to him. Our mouths moved in sync, more ferociously than any kiss we had shared before, fuelled by pain and despair. I yanked his shirt off over his head, and then slid my hands down his chest towards his abs, marvelling in how good it felt. In my ten lives I had never experienced an emotion that even came close to this.

He responded in kind, his hand sliding up my shirt, burning a trail up my stomach. As his hands burnt over my chest I gasped "Wanda…." He breathed. The way he whispered my name made me feel like I would burst, it was full of lust, and something deeper, more meaningful. Love.

I slid my hands down his stomach and tried to undo the knot in the drawstring of his sweatpants. He groaned and moved my hands back up, but kept kissing me.

He pulled away a fraction, whispering against my mouth, "Wanda…" His voice was rough, gravelly, "Are you sure this is what you want? Because I don't think I can stop if you keep doing that to me. Is this just because of what's happened to Mel?"

His reason punctured the haze of heat and desire that surrounded me, and I deflated, pulling my hands back to my sides. Guilt flooded me as I realised I'd just been enjoying myself whilst Mel could be dying.

He read the look on my face, "Wanda, there's no need to feel guilty." We lay curled facing each other, our foreheads pressed together, trying to catch our breath. I stared into his sapphire eyes, shining with adoration.

After a few minutes I stood up and straightened my clothes.

"Ian I want to go see Mel, she must be done talking to Jared by now." I stood impatiently with my arms crossed waiting for him to get up and come with me.

"Urm, Wanda, honey, I want to come with you, but, I may need a few more minutes to… calm down, before we leave this room."

"OH." I flushed as I realised what he was talking about and involuntarily glanced down at him. I was already embarrassed about what we'd just done, this body's weak emotions betraying me once again.

He chuckled, enjoying my discomfort. He stood up, pulling his shirt back on and pried my arms away from my body, taking my small hand and engulfing it with his own big hand.

After just a few moments, Ian started heading for the doorway, pulling me along with him. I eagerly increased my pace, practically running towards Melanie and Jared's room just down the corridor.

We stop just outside the floral screen to their room.

"Mel?"

There is no reply. I listen closely, trying to hear voices from inside. Ian and I exchange a look of shared concern.

"Mel, we're coming in." he says.

He holds the screen aside for me to enter their room. My eyes take a moment to adjust to the gloom. There room has hardly any crevices for natural light to get in. It's then that I notice the sound of muffled sobs. Mel is sat in Jared's lap against the wall of the cave, her head burrowed into his shoulder, and his face pressed into her hair. They're both crying.

"Why? Why now? Why when I only just got you back, does this have to happen?" I hear Jared choke out.

I look at Ian, unsure of what to do. We are intruding on a moment of weakness, and neither of them has noticed us here. Ian shrugs. He's letting me decide what to do.

"Mel?" I whisper again.

This time she raises her head and looks at me through swollen, teary eyes.

"Wanda", she croaks out. She even smiles a little, although it looks forced and unnatural on her face right now, so obviously touched with despair. Jared's head still hangs down, and he takes several deep breaths, trying to compose himself. When he seems to have managed it he sits up straighter and clears his throat.

"We need to go on a raid."

The Jared who wept for the woman he loved is gone for now. In his place he is focused, driven, determined, and from his steely gaze, willing to do anything.

Jared and Ian left the cave to go talk to Jeb, already planning the raid. I stay with Mel, knowing that I'll be able to worm my way onto the trip later. Jared knows that me coming will be the safest, easiest and quickest option.

"We can't tell Jamie."

I jump at hearing Mel's voice after being sat in silence for so long, and then reply:

"No, of course we won't. We don't need to cause him unnecessary pain. We'll have you fixed in no time."

_No-one's mentioned the obvious problems. How will we know what medicine to get her? Will there even be medicine for her? _My kind have cured so many human diseases, I can only hope they've cured this one.

Now that we have a plan, even in the early stages, we are more determined, more willing to fight. 

_It had never occurred to me that sometimes you have to fight an invisible enemy. Was this how the human's felt, having to fight against the souls hidden away inside a body?_

Thoughts were running through my brain, uncoordinated, hard to focus on any one problem.

"Mel, let's go see Doc again." I pull her up, even with my weak body, and we head towards the southern caves and Doc's hospital.

"Melanie, I'm glad you came back. I wanted to examine you again."

Doc sounds both happy and sad to see us. I understand how he feels, he is so kind he can't bear for Mel to suffer, but he is glad to have the chance to try and make her better.

"Can you just sit up on the bed?" He asks her.

He gets a pocket flashlight and shines it in her eyes, checking her pupil reflexes. He then starts testing reflexes in other parts of her body, and asking her questions.

By the end of his examination he's frowning. Impatience has been boiling up in me, threatening to overflow and spill out like a volcanic eruption. Eventually a question bubbles out of my lips.

"So Doc, are you sure?"

He sighs wearily, and his shoulders sag, as if bearing a heavy weight.

"I'm about 80% sure it is a brain tumour. I can't be certain without a brain scan, but all the symptoms are there." Sadness pulls the corners of his mouth down. "I always feel so useless without all the equipment I need."

Surprisingly it's Mel who is the first one to comfort him.

"You're not useless Doc. The no pain you gave me is really useful. My head feels better than it has in weeks."

The frown lines are still etched deep into Doc's forehead though, as he tells us to go get some breakfast.

When we get to the kitchen, it's practically empty. Sun streams through gaps in the roof of the cave, indicating it's later than we thought, and by now everyone's already eaten and started their chores. Jared, Ian, Jeb and Kyle are the only ones left. As we get closer I hear the sounds of an argument, getting louder and louder.

"Of course we have to go now!" Jared practically yells.

"No-one's going anywhere right now, first we need to prepare and make a plan. My house, my rules." Comes Jeb's calm response.

"We've got a plan! Don't let Melanie die!" Jared shouts.

I see Mel's hands curl into fists at her sides. A bubble of nervousness rises up inside me, I recognised the look on her face, she was going to hit someone.

"JARED!" She yells, storming forwards, "You are NOT putting everyone in danger by hurtling headfirst into a raid, without stopping to think. And I am NOT DYING ANYTIME SOON." As she reaches him, she pulls back her arm, ready to swing her fist into his face. I lunge forwards, and she barely makes contact before I desperately hang on to her arm, using all my strength to try and stop her.

Jared's face is full of hurt and shock. Ian and Mel are glaring at me. Mel for stopping her from hitting him, and Ian for putting myself in harm's way for Jared. Kyle just laughs at the four of us, and Jeb stands there, his lips pursed, considering.

"Now, now. Let's all be calm." He starts. "Jared, you can leave tonight. Kyle, Ian and Wanda will go with you."

Ian stiffens when he hears my name, but he knows better than to argue this time. Mel's life could be at stake.

"Wanda, how do you think we should go about this?" Jeb asks me.

I gape at him, shocked that he wants my opinion. His mouth quirks into a smile as he reads the look on my face, but he doesn't say anything, he just looks at me, encouraging me to voice my opinion.

"Well… I could go to a healing centre, and complain of the symptoms that Mel's been havi-"

"That won't work." Jared interrupts me. "They'll check with a scan, they won't find a tumour, and you won't find out what medicine you need."

"What about if she went in and told them she's already been diagnosed by a healer in another city and she just needs a top up of medicine whilst she's visiting?" suggested Ian.

"You're forgetting she's a terrible liar", was Kyle's helpful response.

"And YOU'RE forgetting that she's a soul, and they'll believe anything she says", Ian defends me.

"I never forget she's a soul…"

Ian glared at his brother, tension building in the air.

I waved my arms around, drawing everyone's attention back to me, then blushing when everyone's gazes all fell on me.

"Ian's idea might work. I can tell them I'm visiting relatives here and forgot to bring my medication."

"And if they ask why I'm still in this host when it's ill, I'll tell them I'm very attached to this body and didn't want to swap to a healthy host unless there was no other choice." I add as I see a protest form on Jared's face.

Mel was the only one who hadn't said something about the idea.

"I don't want you to risk yourself for me." She says quietly. "And before you argue with me, it's my body, so it's my choice, and I don't want you going to get medicine for me if it puts you in danger."

Everyone begins protesting at once. Jared's voice rises up over the rest.

"Mel don't be a martyr, we'll be in no more danger than on a usual raid. The only one at risk is Wanda, and she's one of them, they won't do anything to her."

I stiffen at his words. _One of them. A parasite._

He seemed to realise his mistake and began apologising. Ian looked mad.

"Wanda, you know I didn't mean it like that..." He glanced at Ian too. "I didn't mean it."

I quickly speak up. "It's okay, I know you're just concerned for Mel. We all are. And Mel," I look directly at her, "You would do the same for us, and nothing you can say will stop us from doing this for you. You're my sister, and I can't imagine living in a world without you in it."

"Well now, see how quickly you can sort yourselves out when you discuss it rationally?" Jeb said to us all with a chuckle. "You're all excused from chores today to prepare for tonight. You'll leave at dusk. Mel, hon, I suggest you move in with someone else after tonight so they can keep an eye on you."

Everyone nodded and went off their separate ways. Mel and Jared seemed to have silently made up, walking off together holding hands. Jared looked at her like a man stranded in a desert looks at water, like he couldn't quite believe she was really there, and she was okay for now.

As I stared at them walking away, I felt Ian's gaze burning into me. I turned to face him, smiling slightly, and he smiled back at me, his face, sapphires, ink and snow, lit up with love.

"You're beautiful." I blurt out. My hand flies to my mouth. I hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"Beautiful?" He scrunches up his nose. "That's not very manly. I'd rather be good-looking, or handsome." He jokes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you" I said, not really getting the joke.

"Wanderer, I'm not offended. I'm amazed that you think I could be beautiful after all you've seen in all your lives, and with you standing there, making everyone around you seem plain. YOU are the beautiful one. When I held you in my hand…" He sighs. "You're breath-taking, and I'm a lucky man."

_I can never get used to him calling me in my true form beautiful. I am the lucky one._

"I am the lucky one." I say out loud.

"We'll have to agree to disagree on that one."


	4. Chapter 4

"It won't work."

I lift my head up from where it was resting on my knees. I've been hiding in the games room all day so that I wouldn't have to see Jamie before the raid and lie to him about what it's for. Only Ian knew I was here, and he'd just left to go grab supplies for the raid, including sunglasses for him, Jared and Kyle.

"Candy…?" I exclaimed, "How did you know I was here? What do you mean? What won't work?"

I notice a small shadow just behind Candy's shoulder. Sunny is here as well, and she speaks up, explaining for the both of them.

"Ian told Kyle and Jared where you are so that they wouldn't worry you weren't ready for the raid, and then Kyle told me to come find you and make sure you really were ready." Her face lights up as she talks about Kyle. "He also told me your plan to get medicine for Melanie, but they don't use medicine for damage like this. I remembered a soul I knew a few years ago, shattered-ice-in-the-sunlight, had had a damaged host. Her liver wasn't working properly, but she refused to swap hosts, and so they put her in this big machine and when she came out she was better. So I went to see Candy, to ask her if she knew anything about it, and…"

"I do." Candy replies, shifting uncomfortably as Sunny and I look at her. _She's still not happy being around souls. _The thought saddens me, before I realised the importance of what she just said.

I gasp and reach out to grab her arm, but drop my hand when I see her flinch.

"I'm sorry," I mumble, "but please!" I exclaim, "You have to tell us everything you know so that we can cure Mel!"

"Well I no longer remember exactly how it works, although the… _soul…_ that was in my body knew the finer workings of this technology. It looks like one of our MRI scanners, equipment we had before our world was taken from us which we used to see inside a body. It uses some kind of radiation not discovered by human scientists that heals tissues inside, but causes none of the usual damage that radiation does to human bodies."

My eyes widen and I begin to fill with a warm glow now that I know Mel can be treated. _Hope._ I am not fully in control of my body as my feet start racing towards the main plaza, but this isn't like when Melanie was trying to reclaim her body, this is sheer desperation and determination.

"IAN! JARED! MEL!" I yell, as my feet pound against the rock. I am flying towards the plaza, passing blurry faces wearing expressions of surprise and even shock. I am surprised at my body too. _Who knew this small child-like host had it in her to run so fast?_

"Wanda?!" I can hear Ian's voice now, sounding panicked and agitated. I also hear the frantic clambering of several pairs of footsteps racing to meet me. I barely have time to think before Ian hurtles around the corner, sees me and barely slows down before scooping me into his arms and setting me down in the corner, looking me up and down to check if I'm hurt.

"Wanda? Wanda! What's wrong? Are you okay? I'll KILL anyone who's hurt you!"

I place my small hand on his cheek and try to soothe him.

"Shh… shh… it's okay, I'm fine, I'm fine. Nothing bad has happened, in fact the complete opposite."

I beam up at him. He still looks agitated, worry swirls in his eyes, and his hands are in a vice around my wrists. I stare into his eyes, silently trying to show him I'm really okay.

"Wanda!"

"Are you okay?"

By now Jared and Mel have caught up and come rushing over, interrupting my moment with Ian. A small part of my mind feels guilty for wearing Mel out; she's obviously not feeling great because normally she's faster than anyone else in these caves, but I push that part down. This is more important for Mel's health.

"I'm fine. I'm amazing in fact! Mel, oh Mel, I know how to cure you!"

"What? How?" Jared demands.

"Candy and Sunny! They're fantastic! They're both geniuses! They remembered a machine us souls made that cures human bodies of anything! We have to get Mel to one!"

By this point I'm practically bouncing on my toes, so happy to finally have an answer that I don't even notice Ian's steel grip hasn't let up.

"Wanda, your hands have gone white," Mel exclaims, then notices Ian holding my wrists in a death grip and growls at him.

"O'Shea, I suggest you get your hands off her right now, if you wanna keep them."

He inhales sharply through his teeth, releases my wrists and steps back, horror apparent on his face.

"I'm sorry," he whispers aghast. Pain rushes into my hands as the blood comes rushing back.

_Ouch._

Mel shoves Ian to the side and comes over to hug me, shooting daggers at him over my shoulder.

_Oops I hadn't mean to say that out loud._

"Anyway…" My voice quavers as I try to pretend the last few minutes hadn't happened. "Urm… The machine… It will fix Mel perfectly, and urmm we just need to figure out how, urh, to get her in…"

_What have I done? Ian won't even look at me now. He must be mad at me for worrying him._

Tears start to fill my eyes, and I silently plead Mel to leave. She seems to understand because the next thing I know, she's grabbing Jared and dragging him back to the plaza saying they needed to update Jeb. The look of befuddlement on Jared's face almost made me giggle. Almost.

"Ian" I whisper.

He's leaning against the wall, facing away from me. His muscles tense at my voice, so I know he hears me but he doesn't make any move to come over to me.

"Ian" I beg, as tears start to fall down my face. "Please look at me."

Reluctantly, as if every movement if forced, he turns around, but still won't meet my gaze.

"Ian, I'm so sorry," I sob.

At this, his head jerks up, and I gasp, because his eyes are filled with tears too.

"You're sorry? _You're_ sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for." He says roughly, his voice thick with emotion. "This is all my fault. I'm a monster."

"No, no you're not!" I plead "I worried you, I made you upset!"

This only seems to make him mad.

"Damn it, Wanda!" he snaps, "Stop trying to be so selfless, I hurt you, and there is NO excuse for that."

I can feel the hurt on my face at his harsh tone. His own face crumples as he sees he's hurt me again.

"Wanda, I am sorry, I am so sorry, from the bottom of my heart. I didn't mean to shout at you, and I really didn't mean to hurt your wrists. Are you in pain?"

"No, I'm fine, it's not your fault and I'm not mad at you," I whisper, "but I _am_ sorry, I was just so excited that we could make Mel better, I didn't stop and think that you'd be worried when you heard me yell for you, especially since the last time that happened Kyle tried to..."

The corners of his mouth turn up slightly. "Are you finally going to admit he tried to kill you?"

When I just pressed my lips together tightly he sighed and the sadness in his face returned. "Wanderer, please don't try and apologise anymore, it's just making me feel worse. You may have forgiven me for hurting you, but I'm not forgiving myself anytime soon."

"Ian…" It's my turn to sigh, but when I see the stubborn set of his face, I realise there's no point in arguing further. _I'm not mad at him, why does he have to be mad at himself? I'll just have to show him he's done nothing wrong._

"Could you just hold me please?" I murmur, locking my gaze on his sapphire eyes.

His arms sneak around my waist, "I love you, my Wanderer." My own arms reach around his neck and I press my body against his.

"I love you, my Ian." I reply with a smile.

I stretch up on my tiptoes and press my lips to his throat, kissing me way along his jaw until I reach his mouth. His lips part and start moving against mine. I tentatively nibble on his lower lip, then sweep my tongue slowly into his mouth.

"Wanda…" he breaks away trying to catch his breath

I smile against his mouth, glad that I'd gotten my happy Ian back.

"We should go join the others now so we can change our plans for tonight." I say.

As we reached the main plaza where everyone was gathered, Ian jerked his head at Jared, gesturing him over, at the same time as gently nudging me towards the others.

"I need to talk to Howe for a second, you go on."

Jared gave me an odd look as he passed me, and as he looked over at Ian again, a wave of anger passed over his face, so quick I easily could have missed it, before he went back to a neutral expression. I turned to glance at Ian too and he smiled, but it was obviously forced for my sake.

As I got near to Mel she gave my shoulder a quick squeeze and I smiled warmly at her.

"Mel" I whispered in her ear, "what's up with Ian and Jared?"

"I don't know what Ian wants with him, but Jared's not happy he hurt you."

"WHAT?" I exclaimed, forgetting to whisper. Everyone in the gathering looked up at me bemused.

"What?" I say again, this time whispered back at Mel.

"Don't sound so surprised" she whispered with a chuckle, "You're his sister too now."

"Quit gossiping ladies, we've got a raid to do, in case you hadn't heard" joked Kyle, "you've already missed the new plan."

_I still can't believe this is the same Kyle who tried to kill me and Mel just months ago._

Mel was obviously having similar thoughts, because the look she gave him could have frozen the sun. I started listening to the conversation just as it trailed off.

"- so Wanda and Jared will go in and scout out where the machine is, claiming they're visiting a friend, then Wanda will make some kind of distraction and lure away any healers near the room, whilst Jared goes back to the van and sneaks Mel and Candy in through the back entrance. Ian, Kyle and Sunny will stay in the van, and Sunny will make up a story if any souls get too curious. Wanda will go back to the room and make sure no one else comes. Candy will heal Mel whilst Jared stands guard outside the door with Wanda, and then everyone gets back to the van, and y'all get the hell out of dodge."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

Jared had joined the group again, closely followed by Ian, who surprisingly didn't say anything about having to wait in the van with his brother and Sunny whilst I went in and risked myself. I looked closer at Ian's face and a niggling suspicion grew in the back of my mind.

_What've they been doing? Why is his lip bleeding?_

I looked between Jared and Ian, eyeing them both suspiciously. I could practically hear the cogs turning in my brain. When I realised what had happened, I couldn't stop the gasp that escaped me.

"You hit him!" I accused Jared.

"No he didn't, I just tripped." Ian said innocently.

Jared just shrugged.

_I know they're lying. But why? And why were they acting like buddies now, if Jared just hit him._

I scowled, but let it go.

"Y'all need to leave before it gets too close to dawn. Be ready to leave in a half hour." Jeb yelled over the noise of everyone having separate conversations. Everyone dispersed pretty quick after that.

"Ian, what did you and Jared talk about? And why did he hit you?" I was sat next to him on our bed, stroking the side of his face whilst he packed a few essentials into a backpack.

"Oh… umm, we were just talking about the raid. And he didn't hit me, I told you, I tripped and hit my face on a sticking out rock." He protests.

"Ian, you say I'm a bad liar, you're just as bad!" I giggle, and slide my hands from his face to his chest.

"I can't lie to you, because I love you too much, especially when you keep touching me like that," he winked at me, and I blushed.

"Okay, he did hit me. And I deserved it, so I didn't want to tell you."

I sighed and grabbed his shoulders, trying to turn him towards me. He laughed at my feeble attempt to move him, and dropped the bag to turn to me.

"I already told you, it wasn't your fault, I could have told you it was hurting, you didn't know, and I shouldn't have worried you."

This argument wasn't going to be resolved any time soon, so I decided to spend the time more productively.

I slid my hand under his shirt and pushed on his chest to push him onto his back. I didn't know where this new, confident version of me had come from, but I liked it. I crawled up his fit, muscular body to lay on top of him, and bent down to kiss him keenly. He returned the kiss equally passionately, and soon we were both gasping for breath. I started to undo the buttons on his shirt when he stopped me.

"Ian," I complained, "you've already said we can move things along a bit, why are you stopping me?"

He rolled us over to tuck me into his side.

"Believe me, I want to continue, but if we carried on any longer we'd have Mel, Jared, Sunny, Candy and worst of all, my brother barging in on us. We have to leave now" He chuckled, at the pink tinge spreading over my cheeks.

"Oh. Okay."

As we walked up towards the plaza to meet the rest of the group and to say goodbye to everyone, I swung our hands, clasped between our bodies.

"Ian, are you sure you and Jared were just talking about the raid?" I asked innocently.

He was too quick to respond.

"Yeah, course."

"Hmmm…"

At that moment, Jamie came running towards us.

"Wanda! Why did no one tell me you were all going on another raid? I'll miss you!" He threw his arms around me, I no longer had to bend slightly to hug him back; we were the same height.

"I'll miss you too Jamie! But we'll be back before you know it!"

"I know, but I'll still miss you."

I smiled, as he ran off to hug Mel as well.

Everyone said goodbye to everyone, and a few people came as far as the exit to the outside to wave us off as we started jogging towards the jeep.

I had no energy to think, I was just concentrating on trying to keep up with everybody else. I looked up at Melanie's athletic body, already pulling ahead of the rest of us, Jared hot on her trail, and felt a pang of jealousy. _I miss being able to run._ But I definitely didn't miss having Mel trapped by me, so I quickly got over it.

"If you get too tired I can carry you," Ian suggested in my ear. I smiled at his usual over-protectiveness.

"I'm fine." I laughed, "I'm enjoying getting to actually use this body's muscles, pitiful as they are!"

After jogging a while longer in silence, almost everyone had disappeared off ahead; even Sunny and Kyle were barely visible in the distance.

Eventually we reached the Jeep and the others laughed good naturedly at my bright red face, and inability to catch my breath. They barely looked fazed by the several mile run. I tried to laugh with them, but I didn't have enough breath for that!

As I settled into the back of the cramped Jeep, practically sat in Ian's lap, I snuggled my head onto his shoulder and tried to sleep, knowing a difficult task was ahead of us.

**A/N: Please give me some reviews, I'd love to hear from you what you liked or thought could be improved on. Thanks in advance! :D**

**To Demetri' .Devil, sorry if I didn't make it clear (I'm still new to writing), Jared hit Ian because he hurt Wanda, and Jared's feeling protective of Wanda now she's given him his Mel back. **

**Sorry again, it's not posting your name right!**


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